Pre Divorce Advice
Pre divorce advise begins with the expectation that marriage is forever, but unfortunately the numbers say that right around half of all US marriages will end up in divorce. One of the first things that you have to do if you are going to get out of the divorce in reasonably good shape is to reset your thinking, starting with the fact that marriages do break up and that yours might be one of the ones that don't make it.
Marriage counselors can be a big help, even if both parties don't attend, be sure that you are the one that attends, as this is time, and probably money well spent. They have seen this a lot more times than you have and they are desensitized to the process. What that means is that they are not all emotionally wrapped in the divorce, as they are looking in from the outside. Marriage counselors more than your friends and coworkers know what is up and they will give you good advise to try to save your marriage, their first priority, but them if it is not going to work, they can take much of the sting out of the divorce and prepare you mentally and offer some sound advise to prepare you for the legal part of the divorce.
The two main reasons for divorce are money and lack of communication. In tough economic times like we are in today the divorce rates go up. If money is the reason for your problems it would be a real good idea to know where the money is, or isn't, before you get a divorce. A good idea is to gather and copy all of the financial documents concerning taxes, income, credit cards, mortgages, retirement plans, real estate and inheritance both the good and the bad so that you have an idea what is at stake.
Many would suggest taking a video camera and walk through your dwelling(s) including garages and basements and verbally describe everything that is there, so that you have a real inventory of sorts to what you own.
If you have joint accounts as soon as one says that there is going to be a divorce the first thing people do is pull all of the cash out of the banks, this can really back fire on you if the accounts are used to auto pay bills, if there is no money then you are going to put a black mark on your credit and cause all sorts of other drama that you would most likely like to avoid.
A better idea is to sock some money away over time, if you have time, and place it somewhere where the other party can not get at it maybe open an account somewhere where the other partner does not know that you have an account. Also look to establish credit if all of the credit is in the other persons name. You can do this with lay always. Another way is too apply for a credit card before the divorce starts, with you as the primary on the account.
You should have a realistic idea of how much you need to survive if you are going it on your own. Preparation here can keep you from going bankrupt, which seems to go hand in hand with divorce, as many recent divorcee's lean on credit and it gets the best of them in the long run. Rarely do people come out better in a divorce financially, regardless of your income base.
You should find a divorce lawyer or experienced family attorney, even if you are amicable with your partner at the begriming of the separation and divorce. Many times during the process the friendliness goes away and you are best to be prepared in advance. Many US Lawyers will give you a free meeting to discuss your options and answer questions you might have concerning things like kids, should you move out of the house, dating, buy or sell things. you can also feel them out to see if you can work with that particular divorce lawyer. You might also ask about unbundled divorce where they "supervise" basically you do all the work and they keep you going in the right directions and point out potential pratfalls for you to avoid. this can be a very cheap divorce strategy if you do not have a lot of money.
Preparation is the key to cheaper legal bills in the future.
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There is always going to be a need for lawyers and figuring out when is always going to be tricky. Many lawyers will answer some questions for you for free to see if you do need there services, others might charge a small consultation fee. If you do need a lawyer, looking for a cheap one might actually cost you more money in the long run!
This is not legal advice and should not be acted on as legal advice. This is general information for you to consider. If you have legal question get legal help from a licensed attorney or paralegal.
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This is not legal advise. We are not lawyers. If you have a question take it to a licensed attorney, paralegal in your state!
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